Feeling of Alienation Induced by Blindness

I don't know when it started; why did things turn out like this?
I can't even bring myself to do anything because I never have fun no matter what I do
All I ever do is repeat over and over what is asked of me everyday, everyday
And time doesn't even give me spare time to think - it just flows by coldly
Lately, I feel as though I was left out by everyone
Because they don't even dare telling me anything
But they hopelessly think that it's right to fake being my friends
Do you think that you want to be friends with people like that?
Unable to escape from this feeling of alienation induced by sightlessness
I wanted to destroy these useless eyes over and over
In the darkness too black to see a thing, I keep self-satisfying myself
Wouldn't you think that someone would hold out their hand to me?
I can't see anything My eyes reflect nothing but the wrong side of people
I can't see anything My ears cannot hear anything but horrible voices
I can't see anything My mouth cannot smile anymore
I can't see anything My body...
I want to run away at any cost from this feeling of alienation induced by blindness
So I have decided to just completely erase this unneeded existence of mine
In the depths of darkness too black to see a thing, I am about to commit murder
And not a single person has ever tried to stop me

-_-"

Overflowing feeling of disgust
Senses torn apart
Emotional instability
Feelings that can fly even in the dark night sky
Jeers hurling down onto me
That is my love as it is now
My chest feels like it is splitting open
As I wait for an answer that you will never return
If nothing is to change at all,
I should have died back then
If you can, I want you
To love me just a little.
The hydrangeas that blossom in the dark
Continue to fall down unceasingly
They dance beautifully, exposing their bodies
To the benumbing solitude
I'm miserable, am I not?
The hydrangeas that blossom in the dark
Continue to fall down unceasingly
They dance beautifully, exposing their bodies
To the benumbing solitude
Memories are only futile
Memories are only painful
I have only a single wish
A wish that will not even reach you.
The dark breaks through the firmament.
Only if the light of the moonbeam
Shining on me becomes dense,
I too will arise pronouncedly.